Five Years
by DarKloWn
Summary: This is a short fic about if Hope was unable to cope with the disappearance of all his friends. Just a small thing I felt like writing. Obviously not accurate with the events of XIII-2. Warning there are some dark themes discussed in it, so stay away if you don't want to see it. Bit of Hope/Vanille as well.
Five years. Five years since they saved Cocoon and all its people. Five years since he watched two of his friends sacrifice themselves. Five years since another disappeared. Three years since the fourth person left in search of the third. Two years since the fiancé of the fourth left to find him. One year since the final member of his group disappeared, leaving him alone. A month since he started losing hope that he will ever see any of them again. Vanille, Fang, Lightning, Snow, Serah and Sazh, all gone. Leaving just Hope, alone once again.

Hope tried to distract himself by focusing on his education, hoping to someday be able to save the crystal saviours, at least he knew where they were, unlike the others. Most days were tough for him, but the thought of getting to see at least two of them again was enough to drive him to study. But one particular day each year, his birthday, nothing could distract himself from his thoughts, especially this year. Hope had finally turned nineteen, finally no longer the youngest in the group thanks to the redheaded Pulsian's crystal stasis. Technically they were now the same age, but unless she was to miraculously return on this day, he will likely overtake her in age. It was this day he felt most alone, being the only former l'cie remaining, possibly alive.

Hope moved out of home as soon as he could, he wanted the independence, at least that's what he told his father. In reality, he just wanted his own place where he could express himself with no one else around. Money wasn't an issue, being a hero of Cocoon as well as receiving multiple academic scholarships tend to make life easy, so he at least didn't have that to worry about. Despite losing his brand years ago, it was hard to for people to look past the label of l'cie, so hope spent most of his time alone in his room studying.

Hours passed, until it was dark outside, Hope was finally starting to crack for the emotions he has felt the past five years. Alone and without hope, he decides on an action that can't be undone. He will never see any of his friends again, how could he? Last time Vanille and Fang were in stasis they were gone for hundreds of years, so he will be long gone by then. Lightning hasn't been seen or heard from in five years, not even Light would go that long without at least saying high, at least not if she was alive. Snow was the same, but he was leaving his future wife without a clue. He would never do anything to hurt her, so something had to have happened. Serah wouldn't return without Snow, so she wouldn't be heard from anytime soon. And Sazh, he may have been tough when he was a l'cie, but I doubt the extra years would be as kind as the powers he used to have. At least he knows he will join some of them soon.

Tears welling in his eyes, forming on the bottom of the blank page, he begins to write.

 _To whoever finds this letter._

 _I'm sorry. I… I just couldn't do this anymore, the people who I cared for more than anything in the world are all gone. I tried to stay strong for them, hoping I would see them again, but it's been years, it will never happen. At least if something happened to any of them I get to see them again soon. To the people who actually weren't scared to come up and talk to me because of my past, thank you. Even the small conversations we had were enough to make this a tough decision. Dad, if you read this, I am sorry to put you through this, but it just got too much for me. Please be strong, stronger than I ever could be. Even though I doubt any of you are still alive, if by some miracle you return and see this, I wanted to say something to each of you. First off Sazh, you always knew how to cheer me up, I don't think I could have lasted that journey without your humour, whether intentional or not. I hope Dajh is well. Snow, you risked life and limb to protect me, even without knowing I was the one my mother told you about. You always were the toughest in the group when it came to protecting others. Lightning, you turned me into a fighter, you gave me the strength to get through the journey as well as the strength to hold on as long as I did. If I was only as strong as you were I may not be writing this right now. Fang, you may have been tough on the outside, but I know you cared a lot more than you let on, which was what I needed sometimes. Lastly Vanille. I don't even know what to say to you at the moment. Your optimism always managed to put a smile on my face, despite the situation we were in. Speaking of smiles, the worst part about what I'm about to do is I am never going to get to see yours again. I did mean what I said that day, about your smile. I just played it off as a joke so you wouldn't see how I truly felt about you. I always did love you Vanille, I just wish I got to say it to your face._

Neatly folding it up, fitting in the envelope with 'I'm sorry' written on it, Hope walked over to his drawers, picking up the survival knife that Lightning gave him to look after and that Serah gave back before she left. The irony that this knife would be the knife that took away his pain instead of helping him fight through it for a change. It was now or never, with a deep breath Hope closes his eyes for what would be the last time.

' _Now what in the bloody hell do you think you're doing kid'  
_ 'That… voice. It can't be'  
There was no way that he could be hearing that voice, especially after five years. Looking around the room, Hope sees no one, confirming his thoughts that he was imagining the voice.

' _Guess again kid, I'm I'm in your head whether you like it or not. Now back to the issue at hand. What in the hell are you doing!'  
_ 'I… I'm sorry Fang, I just can't'  
 _'I don't want your bloody apologies, you are seriously going to do this? Think about what it will do to us!'  
_ 'Us? What could you she mean by us?

The use of the word us, does that mean Vanille is there as well?

' _Bingo kid, not to mention the others will be just as upset when they find out, seeing as they are alive and all.'  
_ 'They… They are alive'

Despite hearing a familiar voice for a change, Hope couldn't contain the tears, he was so close to taking his own life, not even knowing if the others were still alive.

´Wait a minute, if you can speak to me why hasn't Vanille?  
 _'Well what do you expect me to say after all that? You better be thankful I'm still a crystal or you would be in a world of pain right now mister.'  
_ 'V-Vanille?'  
 _'One minute you write down that you love me and the next you are going to kill yourself? How am I meant to react to that?'_

In truth, he didn't expect her to react, he didn't expect her to say anything at all to him ever again, even though it was clearly angry and hurt, hearing her voice again certainly helped.

'How can you even talk to me? Aren't you in a crystal?'  
 _'Well usually we can only talk to people in their dreams, but when we are close to coming out of stasis we can talk to anyone.'  
_ 'Wait… you were coming out of the crystal? Why did you say something?'  
 _'Because I wanted it to be a surprise silly, but noooooooo you had to go and do something so stupid I had to ruin it, well there, now you know, so don't go doing anything else stupid and wait for us to return, ciao!'_

Just like that the energetic girl he knew years ago was back, even though he hurt her through his actions, at least he knew she would be back soon, maybe the others would as well. Putting away the knife, Hope scrunched up the letter he wrote before burning it in his bin. He certainly didn't need it anymore.

' _That's more like it kid. I would have killed you if you had have hurt Vanille like that. You better be the old Hope when we get back, or else there will be hell to pay.'_

After laughing shortly realising the stupidity of her threat, Hope climbed into bed, ready to face the next day with a new sense of purpose.

After all, he had hope again.

And hopefully soon he will have Vanille… and Fang back too.


End file.
